Last Thursday night I was invited to a grand opening of a club here in NYC. Aside from the occasional after work affairs, I don’t usually go out on week nights. And I especially don’t go out to clubs.  I was initially going to decline the invitation but one of my close friends was in town and I figured it was something we could do.  I can’t even remember the last time I have been to a legitimate club. I seriously have outgrown my clubbin’ days. And the other night pretty much confirmed it.

curvy-girl-wearing-crop-top

Wearing: Gap Denim Jacket | No Name Crop Top | Forever 21 Skirt | Hanes Tights | Steve Madden Knee High Boots

The night started out cool. I got to the venue around 11:45pm. You know I had to watch ‘Scandal’ before I left the house. It was cold and rainy that night and the line to get in was huge. I bypassed the long line and moseyed on up to the front to see if there was a media line since I was told that I was on the ‘list’. I was told that there wasn’t any sort of thing and would have to wait in line. I wasn’t pressed nor did I want to wait out in the rain. You know I just got my hair did and water is kryptonite when it’s straight. I was minutes from turning on my heels and leaving but remembered my homegirl was meeting me so I reluctantly got in line. Thankfully the line went really fast. 

I quickly got to the front, confirmed my name on the guest list, got my VIP wristband and headed into the venue. The place was packed. I really need to know what all of these folks did for a living where they could go clubbin’ on a Thursday night. Did they not have to work in the morning? Unlike them, I was legitimately there for work.

crop-tops-for-curves

The music was good. Folks were actually dancing, unlike many other parties I have been to in NYC. I genuinely had a good time. I just have a few takeaways from last night that I need to bullet point.

  • A dude tried to buy me a soda (‘pop’ – depending on where you are from) and his card got declined. I don’t know if it was human error or a bank error but it was embarrassing for him. My soda couldn’t have costed no more than $5. I appreciated the gesture but it was a little funny. I kept my laughs to myself and he promptly pulled out another card to pay with. Crisis adverted.
  • The majority of the women in the club were dressed for 90 degree weather. Mind you, it was freezing rain outside. I’m talking coochie cutters galore.
  • In addition to dressing for the summer, the women had on too small, too short and too tight clothing. Ladies, if you have to keep pulling it down every 2 minutes, it doesn’t fit. I get trying to show a little skin to be a little sexy. But keep it classy.
  • Why do dudes feel that it’s ok to walk by and grab your hand? And sir, you are?
  • Why do dudes come behind you and start dancing? I actually turned around and told a dude he should ask a woman to dance.
  • Since when does dancing equal a man grinding his pelvis into your backside. Gross! Back away from my personal space. I don’t know you like that.
  • Two minutes into a conversation and dudes were already asking for my number. The thirst was real. It took me back to my high school days when you would play the numbers game to see how many  you could pull for the night.
  • Why were the coat check people trying to charge me $6 for my jacket and $6 for my umbrella? Apparently they have a one item per $6 coat check rule. I had to get a little Detroit on them because not only was the $6 coat check fee pricey, to pay an additional $6 for something you can hang with my coat was absurd. Needless to say I checked my coat and didn’t pay the extra fee. And then had the nerve to ask for a tip. Please!

I came to the conclusion that nothing has changed about clubs. Dudes still act the same. Chicks still dress the same. I don’t think I have to go back to a club for a long while. Although this particular spot would be a great place to go when my friends come in from out of town.

Oh…this is NOT what I wore to the club. You know I don’t really write about fashion. I literally looked like an old lady compared to the other club patrons. But I did wear a crop top again the other day.

firma